Sensitive Toddlers

Almost Friday!! I hope all is well with everyone. Just a little update on things. Potty training is going splendidly with my little Zane. He gets on the potty with no objection and I give him some of his favorite things to play with that normally he can't have so it is incentive to sit and potty. Then he talks to me and sings and after a few minutes he will go pee pee. Then he says "All Done" and off he goes.

He has come a long way in a short amount of time. I'm sure most of you know that Zane is very, very sensitive and has had a hard time adapting to change. Most toddlers do, but he has really struggled with it in the past. I read all the books on having a sensitive toddler, different personalities of toddlers and I learned a lot. You would think I would already be aware of all that considering I work with toddlers that have special needs, but I still learned a ton. I think often people look at little ones and categorize their fussing, crying, stubborness, and refusal to do certain things as trying to control, being sleepy, being spoiled, needing to socialize etc... Some of that some of the time is true, but each little person has a different personality, some high intensity, some super sensitive, some slow to adapt, some know no strangers, some easily distracted etc.. If you will take the time to read a little on your childs personality then you may not be so easily frustrated by some of the things they say and do. For example: When Zane goes into a room full of people, even some he may know, he does not like everyone paying him all the attention. He needs to watch and listen and sit with me or Dad and just observe and take it all in. Then when he is comfortable he will make baby steps to get down and socialize. I don't force him to talk to adults or even acknowledge them at that point because it will only exaggerate the reaction. It is not an act for him it is his way of adapting. If something is scary to you and I, it is real, for toddlers it is the same. We may not understand why getting a haircut, sitting on a potty, going to a family Christmas party with 20 people in the room, or even the doctors office waiting room is unnerving since we have done it 500 times before, but it is and pushing the issue will only make the fear greater. I have worked with toddlers that were so opposed to change that they had to wear the same shirt and shoes every day or else they would lose it. After about 3 months of that they went onto something else and it was not an issue anymore. The motto around our house is "Pick your battles." Some things may be worth confronting but some are not. The last year I worked at Brickey, when I had Zane, I had a child whose parents thought he had special needs because he wouldn't eat foods with any texture to them like applesauce or hamburgers. He was evaluated over and over and it turned out that he was just extra sensitive and needed a little help adapting to rough, grainy textures. He didn't have special needs he had parents with preconceived ideas about what a normal, good toddler should and shouldn't do and like. With a little maturity and growth he was fine and ate what everybody else did. The lesson is don't label your kids as "backwards, shy, difficult"etc.. for you are creating a label they will feel inclined to live up to.